Dream...

Feels like a dream, 

Yesterday i still able to touch you..

Yesterday i still able to smell the scent of your perfume..

Yesterday i still can be held by you..

Yesterday i still can see your beautiful face..

Yesterday i still can feel your hands on my hair..

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night,

Wishing that it was just a bad dream,

Wishing that when i open my eyes i will be able to see you again..

Wishing that i can feel your presence..

Wishing that i can feel your warm hug..

Wishing that i can say i love you Mom..

I don't know how i survive each day, 

Just trying to breathe, 

Just trying to be strong,

Just trying to smile,

Coz i knew u wanted me to be strong..

Feels like there's a big hole in my heart..

Feels like I'm loosing my soul..

Feels like I'm loosing half of my self..

Feels like I'm the emptiness itself..

They said that I'm changed,

They confuse why i didn't talk much,

They said that I have to be like this and that,

They confuse why I'm not like who I used to be,

But what do they know Mom?

What do they know how much I'm loosing u?

What do they know how much I'm suffering?

What do they know how much u mean for me?

What do they know how much u always love me more than yourself?

But i promise you Mom,

I will be strong..

I will be a child that u always wanted me to be..

I promise that i will reach your dreams..

I promise that i will struggle till my last breathe..

In memories of my beloved Mom, 

Lily Andriani Samad 29 Desember 1961 - 24 November 2008

Superhuman

By: Chris Brown

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I can barely speak
Barely eat, On my knees

But that's the moment u came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible
I see through the me I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human (I feel so superhuman X2)
Super human

Strong
Since I've been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like I've had it all along
And I can see tomorrow

Where every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It's unbelievable to see how love can set me free

You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human (I feel so superhuman X2)
Super human

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going, gone away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I can feel like I can do anything
Going going, I'm gone away in love

You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human

Super human

Slowly but sure..

I can feel it..

Slowly but sure, i can see the red rash spreading on my face again..

Bout few days, i've felt like there's something wrong inside my body,

Don't know what, and don't have ability to stop it either..

Uurrgghhhh...

I don't know why the rash spread again..

Last time the rash appears was on last June..

Hmmm...

The doctor ask me, am i being exhausted this last few days?

And i said no, I'm not physically tired or something like that..

I didn't do any physical job lately,

Well..

Maybe just a little bit depressed..

Shrug..

I know that i need to control my body and my mind,

I know that i can't get too tired, exhausted, or being depressed..

But it's hard to do so,

When the whole world seems standing against me..

Wise man says that Love is about giving and not bout receiving,

That loving someone is bout giving as much as u can, n not asking how much they can give to you..

But am i wrong for asking little bit of attention..

Am i wrong for asking little bit of understanding..

Well....

With all of these things,

I'm still so much thankful to  Allah SWT,

For still able to breathe until this vary second..

For still able to Love..

Euforia

By: Oka Rusmini

Mungkin kita memang tidak memerlukan pertemuan lagi.
Atau kau mulai takut menyentuh api yang terus tumpah dalam bola mataku?

Katamu:
"Aku menginginkan kau tumbuh jadi pohon. Daunmu yang lebat akan menyumbat gigil yang terus berderak dalam tubuh. Di luar bertalu dingin. Tak ada manusia yang bisa kuajak bicara. Tak ada matahari yang mau melepas potong tubuhnya. Jangan pernah pergi. Mari, lemparkan ranting-rantingmu yang rimbun. Mungkin aku bisa kembali hidup."

Di sebuah ruang penuh orang-orang. Kau melindap tak berani menagkap bola mataku. Aku telah menggantung kata-kataku di setiap sudut jalan-jalan kota yang padat. Mungkin bisa memanggilmu berpaling. Di rel-rel kereta tua aku melepas pikiran-pikiranku, mungkin dia kan berbiak, menempel di dinding kereta. Bila kau duduk, kau bisa mengulitinya, membawanya pulang. Aku juga meyelipkan lagu-lagu cinta, karena tak ada suara yang bisa keluar dari mulutku. Kau telah menyumbatnya.

Katamu:
"Aku lelaki yang tidak memiliki kata-kata. Kau makin jauh. Aku melihat ombak besar melumatmu. Aku pernah berlari dengan perahu dan jaring. Mungkin masih bisa kuselamatkan kau di keping tubuhku. Tapi kau terus mengikuti ombak. Kau mungkin telah hilang. Mengapa kau kembali?"

Aku pernah jatuh cinta pada patung air yang kau sembunyikan di detak jantungmu. Kau memanggil kerumunan anak-anak yang sedang bermain. Sambil menggenggam tanganku. Aku tak memiliki garis tangan, lalu kau menyuruh sepasang anak yang sedang berkasih-kasihan untuk megambil taji.

Katamu:
"Mana tanganmu. Aku akan menuliskan namaku di urat tanganmu."

Mungkin tidak lagi pernah kuimpikan pertemuan. Ketika aku mulai rajin mengirimimu bunga, daun-daun kering. Sambil mengingat berapa usiamu kini. Kadang-kadang kucari suaramu. Lalu kuselipkan di seluruh lubang telingaku. Mungkin aku bisa mengenang rasa takutmu.

Katamu:
"Aku tak ingin kehilanganmu."

Aku pernah jatuh cinta pada patung air itu. Ketika malam, kukirimi bangkai bunga. Kau melempar wangi akar padaku. Kau tidak pernah berkata-kata lagi. Selalu gelap. Dingin. Mungkin memang tidak pernah kauinginkan pertemuan lagi. Tapi aku selalu mendengar suaramu yang parau menyanyikan lagu-lagu cinta penuh ragu. Kelak bila aku bisa mengumpulkan huruf-hurufku yang tanggal akan kukirimi kau sebuah rahasia yang terus membuat denyut di dalam darahku.

Atau kau ingin mengambil namamu yang pernah kaugoreskan di telapak tanganku?

I Love You

By: Anonymous 

I love you. 

It's not a weight you must carry around.

I love you.

It's not a box that holds you in.

I love you.

It's not a standard you have to bear.

I love you.

It's not a sacrifice I make.

I love you.

It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon.

I love you.

It's not an expectation of perfection.

I love you.

It's not my life's whole purpose (or your's).

I love you.

It's not to make you change.

I love you.

It's not even to make you love me.

I love you.

It's as pure and simple as that.

My Baby Blue

Finally.. After waiting for over three months..

My baby blue is here..!!

Horrayy!!!!

The car dealer called me and say that my car is arrived and ready to be delivered whenever i want it. Once again... Horrayy!!!!

*do vampire dancing all around my bedroom*

Don't ask me how the dance looks like, it's some kind of secret dancing..

For vampire only! If i told u, then i have to bite u and turn u into a vampire..

LOL! Here's the effect of reading vampire novel too much..

Ok then, back to the topic..

I've been waited for over than three months.

I have so much plans in my head bout my baby blue,

See.. i have the name already..

I even have planned the license plate!

Since i live in Makassar, the license has to begin with DD

So, my plan for my license plate is DD 351 GN

Could you read it?

You can't? Ok.. i'll try make it simple, i'll order the license plate to be like this,

To make it easier for people to read: DD 3 5 1 G N

Still couldn't read it??

My gosh!! It read like this "DESIGN"

So much cool isn't it...!

Wakakakaka...

Hmmm.. So much happy..!! :D

So much plans in my head, feels like it's going to explode..

Easy girl,, one by one, step by step,,

Take a deep breath..

Can't hardly wait to touch it with my own hand,

Can't hardly wait to ride it and explore the city...

Oww..my baby blue.. 

You'll be another part of my life..

After my MBP and now here you are..!!

How my life is so much blessed..

Thank u so much ya Allah..

My baby blue....

Like i said to MBP before,

I'll treat you right,

So..be a great partner for me..

Okay!

What Love Is

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without.

If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? 

Fall head over heels.

I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. 

And how do you find him? 

Forget your head and listen to your heart. 

I'm not hearing any heart. 

Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. 

Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. 

To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. 

You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived". 

[William Parrish] from the movie, Meet Joe Black (1998)